A Prohibition Against the Desire for a Kind of Self-Knowledge

"But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth." (Matthew 6:3)

Let not thy left hand know what they right hand doeth. Why? Because if the left hand knew, it might act differently. If Left knew that Right was doing good, it may stop being concerned about the good it could do itself because Right has it under control. Left might rest on Right's laurels. After all, Left and Right are brothers in the body's family. Or, Left may try all the harder, try to do even greater, because it cannot bear the thought of being beneath Right, of being outdone by Right in any manner. Or, maybe Left would do worse intentionally, being shown up by Right and suspecting all along that Right was the superior hand and Left... pity Left. Left was born misshapen and can do no better, does ill much better than good in fact.

Let not. How to let not? Be non-passive actively. Do not be passive. Erect a barrier between Left and Right because without it, Left hears Right because Right is right next door. And if Right doesn't make a noise, the witnesses Across or Behind will testify. Maybe even Down the Road or Far Away. But the news will travel. Left will find out without a barrier. Left, after all, can always ask. Left can ask, "What do you make of what Right is doing over there?" Left could even make an imagined Right by asking himself, "What do I make of what I, Left, am doing?" Because to inquire of yourself is to create another, the other on display that is seen by others, as opposed to the hidden self of Left alone. To inquire of yourself, to make known to yourself your own goodness, is vain as much as it is vain to make your goodness known to others.